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Be Yourself.
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2010-07-31, 9:08 PM
INNER BEAST Hey guys. Im back. <: HEY! Long time no post peeps. (: I'm back to blogging. so check out my post evry week. <: well. Most of the close frens who know me. KNOW i have a very bad past. I used to fight alot. I used to prank people. (i still do) I used to beat kids up. I nearly killed my best friend... Hm. yeah. I did some SHIT. last time. You see... When i get angry I don't behave my usual self. Something takes over my body. I call it "Shen" Yeah... you guys are probably thinking Im kidding. This is a joke. Some made up thing. Its something like a demon in me. BUT. actually its just because of over-angry-ness. I got too angry in the past. And the wound from the previous angers i had...STAYS. So...it GROWS. IT GROWS INTO A MONSTER. I went to a phychaitrist. he told me these few words that meant so much more. "Anger is like a demon, When someone triggers it. It gets set loose. Alex, You have to learn to control the demon inside you." This sentence made my life change so much. Before. I used to get angry easily. P5. P6. that time. I used to be a bully. I took out my anger on those innocent souls. I nearly killed my best friend, Hafiz. It took 4 boys to subdue me. They held me back. I lunged out at Hafiz like a wolf to its prey. I took him in a chokehold. And gripped...and gripped tighter. I remember his face The dying face. The face full of fear. The face fighting for life. That image scarred my in my mind forever. That was all i remember. Strangling him. You see...for a short period...i am myself when im angry. Then i black out. Then Mr Shen takes over me. Then my teacher told me that 4 boys had to hold me back. Lucky. My teacher didnt let the news out. So. i was safe from the school. BUT. not from his parents. I had made 2 scars on his neck. Till now still have. So many other incidents also Whacked a kids face. broke his glasses. Flung a Milo cup full of milo at one guy. Broke a guys jaw. Twisted someones wrist. In other words...i was my discipline masters BEST friend. :P they called me a FREAK. the demon kid. When i walked in the canteen. Kids ran from me. I felt really bad. Shen didnt come out for months. Till sec one. The Jacqueline incident. BEFORE THAT... Theres some things you need to know about the anger in me. THERE ARE 4 STAGES OF MY ANGER. 1st stage- I have a tendency to take things and break them. Small things like pens. Metal rulers. Compasses. I do this usually to try to cool my temper. My pupils in my eyes become really small. 2nd stage- I hit tables. Bend chairs. Hit walls. Just to try to control myself. Sometimes it works. My face becomes REALLY red. 3rd stage- This stage is considered dangerous. VERY DANGEROUS. People usually run. i get REALLY strong. ALL the veins on my body comes out. They like. BULGE out. At this stage i can bend metal. Really. BEND METAL. Ive tried when im not angry. I SRSLY CANT. D: My voice also grows really loud. I dont sound like myself. Jacqueline describes it as...High pitched. yet deep. yet extremely loud. louder than her scream. Doesnt sound like alex at all. Then i black out. Im being controlled by my anger. I dont remember anything that happens after that. 4th stage- APOCALYPSE. I go physical. My body becomes a killing machine. I just want to DESTROY that person from the face of the Earth. My eyes become RED. Both eyes. TOTALY RED. How do i know this if i dont remember??? People tell me how i looked. :/ Yeah... i usually stop at the 3rd stage. But 4th stage comes too. Please. im not like that anymore. I try to stop it. i took up drumming to cool myself. :D Well...all is in the past... This will be all u need to know about Shen. I cannot reveal more. Goodbye.. HI MATILDA! (u tell me post de :x) bye peeps. ~ENDE~ Waking the Demon -Bullet For My Valentine |
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HARIS HAFIZ NADIAH JUN PENG DEREK JACQUELINE MATILDA CHERILYN RENEE backtoyesterday
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